T'was the Night Before Christmas, and alone on a couch,
a gamer sat gaming, in a most comfortable slouch.
His face tinted blue by the TV screen's glow,
controller in hand, he defeated his foes.
Into his headset, he dropped a sick burn,
then logged off before he got one in return.
His win ratio preserved, and the noobs fully floored,
he got into bed, to dream of high scores.
But then—what's this?! Someone's at the door!
Who could it be? They knock, but what for?!
He picked up his weapon, a samurai sword;
a replica, sure, but at least it hit hard!
As if in a stealth game, he slipped towards the door,
he looked through the peephole, and boy, was he floored!
For waiting outside, and looking quite spiff,
stood Geoff, Gabe, and Reggie—with gifts!
The Three Wise Men of Gaming, they were,
and they followed the leaderboards here:
they were traveling the world with toys,
bringing joy to gamer girls and boys!
Since this year, the Gamer "got gud" with his scores—
he spedrun Dark Souls, ruled Rust's leaderboards—
The Wise Men had special surprises in store;
to make this a Christmas like never before!
First up was Reggie, Ambassador to the East,
where the best games of yore were made and released.
Though he'd since come home from afar,
He still brought joy to players near and far.
"For kicking a** and taking names all year, I give you this Movement Upgrade,"
Reggie said, as he gave a Nintendo Switch in a case made of suede.
"Now, anywhere you go—whether toilet, plane, or bed—you can bring the joy of games;
Just don't ask about MOTHER 3, or your head, I'll set aflame!"
Next was Gabe, Emperor of the PC Realms,
An empire that runs on steam power and taxes.
His loyal subjects want none other at the helm,
Though some complain of the tithe he exacts.
"For all the Steam Achievements you've so diligently earned,
I bestow on thee this Power Buff, for which many have yearned."
As Gabe said his part, he left by the tree a brand-new Steam Deck.
The Gamer could enter the PC Realms, thanks to the tablet's awesome tech.
Finally, came Geoff: Gaming's Arbiter of Artistic Finesse,
the standard-bearer of game reviewers, scholars, and critics.
He pores the world's games to find the very best,
And tells the world's gamers which ones to play next.
"You need games to play on your new machines,
So I've picked the best this year has seen:
Elden Ring, Stray, and a whole slew of indies,
Until next year, these shall keep you busy!"
The men, having given the gifts they gave,
knew it was time to take their leave.
They went out the door, as quickly as they came,
And the Gamer was again alone with his games.
But that's not so bad, the Gamer surmised,
as he gazed at his haul, more and more mesmerized.
T'was the Night Before Christmas, and alone in bed,
the Gamer, while tired, played his new games instead.
And he said, as endorphins rushed through his head,
"Can't wait for the games that await me ahead!"
Wishing all my readers a wonderful, joyous holiday season, and an awesome 2023! May all your wishes come true, and may you find that PlayStation 5/Steam Deck/Splatoon 3 Amiibo/Outbound Ghost day-one patch/Microsoft-Activision merger/<Insert Impossible-to-Find Gaming Gift Here> snugly wrapped up under the tree.
Seasons Greetings,
Jay Rooney Publisher, Game & Word
PS—Feel free to post all the gaming loot you got this week!
Great job with this poem
A joy to read, dude
Merry Christmas to you, Jay!
May you burn through your queue
There once was a writer named Geoffrey,
Whose prose you could say was quite chuckle-y,
He gave tips like candy,
For writers, quite handy!
And everyone came out quite dandy!
Thanks for all your help and all the laughs, this year, Geoffrey! May next year bring many more!
Always happy to help. Thanks for the great game analysis! Looking forward to reading more of your work next year.
What a fabulous write up!
Huzzah to you, Jay!
To new games and playing them
this fine Christmas Day. 🥂🎄💃🏻💖
Thank you, Alexa,
For your good wishes,
Breath of the Wild rules!
~haiku
Always love reading your comments, Alexa! All the best for 2023!